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Saturday, 08 October 2011 17:05

Large Brains for Large Projects

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Question:

Sam, I have heard Tom Mochal talk about the need for your project management processes to be scalable - small projects don’t require the rigor and structure of larger projects. I work in an organization that set minimum criteria for all projects regardless of whether they are big or small. This ends up requiring too much work for small projects and not enough rigor for large projects. How can I convince my managers to apply the project management more scalably?

Roxanne

Answer:

Roxanne,

This is a very good question and I am in total disagreement with it. Just because the windbag Tom Mochal says something is true, you don’t have to believe it. If Tom said to bake a pie and throw it in your own face would you do it?

I have my own philosophy on this matter. It is called “large brains for large projects, small brains for small projects.” If you don’t immediately get my meaning I guess you have the smaller brain.

Think about small projects. They don’t take much work to plan, manage, estimate or close. The village idiot in the town of Frymzth could manage this type of project. Even if they are unsuccessful no one really cares about these small projects anyway. In my country we have saying the “the road to hell is paved with small projects”.

Can you see where I am heading with this logic? If not, then I think you are a small project person.

On the other hand, look at the large project that I manage. It requires much more brain power. I have proven to you in the past that my brain is 25% larger than a normal human. This provides me with the advantage I need to be successful. How else do you think I could plan the work and plan my vacation at the same time? How else could I manage risk on the project and my career at the same time? How else could I manage a contract in my head while at the same time having dinner at an expensive restaurant with the vendor salesperson?

I will tell you how I can do all of these amazing things – my larger brain.

I have explained to you brain scale for small projects and large projects. Medium projects are in the middle and they are boring. They can be managed by the people who have big eyes. For them brains are not so important They manage medium projects until their manager realizes how big their brain is and then reassigns them to small or large projects.      

By the way, you may notice from my picture that I am a larger handsome man. This largeness is required to support my larger brain. Speaking of pictures, I wonder if you could send me a picture of you. With a name like Roxanne I think you must also be very intelligent. Maybe you could fly to my country and take me to dinner.

Ooops! Sorry I forget I was writing this on the Internet for all to see…

I hope you see professional results with my advice.  

Read 5572 times Last modified on Monday, 10 October 2011 12:14

Surprise. Yes, my name is Sam Lahcom and I am the greatest project manager in the world. Please excuse my poor English. I am from the country of Putympkin. Project management is shiny and new to my country but I have been practicing this fine art for many many years before it has become so popular. Many peoples that work for me and rely on me for promotions have told me that I am in fact the greatest project manager in the world.

Website: www.thegreatestpm.com/
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